HENS & BUCKS: LESSON TIME
Diving into the best approach to planning a Hens or Bucks ...So, you’ve been put in charge of organising a memorable, exciting and all together great hens and/or bucks’ activity for the bride or groom’s party before the couple goes from engaged to married … feeling the pressure yet? Well, it’s no small feat, but despite the commonality of these types of activities, the job title of hens/bucks organiser doesn’t come with a step-by-step manual. It’s okay to feel a bit lost in the overwhelming sea of choices. Join Western Australia Wedding & Bride’s Alice O’Brien as she uncovers the dos and don’ts to plan not only a successful but memorable hens/buck’s event. This might even become that planning manual you were missing.
Firstly, as every good lesson begins, we must understand what a hen/bucks activity is …
Image courtesy of Freepik
Written by Alice O’Brien
What is it?
Essentially they’re the same, except for one small thing. Now brace yourself as this may come as a shock, but the bride and her bridal party is referred to as the hens and the groom and his groom party is referred to as the bucks. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s discuss what it entails. Both are a gathering of friends and family to celebrate before the wedding day. Activities typically involve games, dancing, and drinking, all with the goal of letting loose, giving the bride/ groom space to truly bond and enjoy time with their wedding parties after a long planning process.
Where did the hen’s night come from?
The tradition of having a hens before the wedding is no modern invention, rather the creation is credited to the ancient marriage ceremonies of Greece. Pre-marriage rituals involved the bride-to-be spending time with her female kin. Instead of ‘how well do you know the bride’ games, pre-wedding time involved sacrifices, such as locks of hair, to the Goddess of Virginity and receiving advice on marriage relations, all symbolising a change from child to woman.
Where did the buck’s night come from?
In similar vein, the tradition of a buck’s night has its roots in ancient Greece, or more specifically Ancient Sparta. When a solider was to be married, other soldiers would gather round a table and raise a glass in the transition from single to married life. It didn’t involve the wild night outs we see in films today, but rather a reflection on this transition as a military duty. With every marriage there was the chance for Spartans to develop heirs to continue the battle, filling the night with brotherhood.
What do they represent today?
Despite the tradition of pre-martial celebrations interwoven throughout history, the essence of the activities has evolved with society. Hens has moved away from reflecting on a personal worth-based transition to simply spending time with those closest, as marriage today can be based on a choice of love, not status dependent. For bucks, the essence of brotherhood has remained, and while it may still have the stereotype of a groom’s last night of freedom, it too has come with marking the moment with more personal experiences. There’s even the blending of the traditional – two separate events into one. But the most important thing to remember, as an organiser, is that the hens/bucks have evolved into catering to the wants of the bride/groom, and no longer to the societal expectations placed on these events.
DIGGING INTO THE STEP-BY-STEP PLANNING PROCESS
The art of creating a hens/buck experience for a bride/groom can feel like staring at a blank canvas waiting for the instruction manual to appear. But it never does. The task of planning is paired with weighted responsibility, yet it’s important to take a moment and realise the trust the bride/ groom has in you. They trust you know them best. So, with that in mind, it’s time to begin planning.
Understand what the bride/groom are after
Take time to discover if the bride/groom is looking for something in particular. Are they after a weekend getaway, a night in or out, a particular activity like sip and paint? Don’t be afraid to ask logistical questions such as budget, guest numbers and timing, as these will be the foundations for your planning. A suggestion is to combine all the questions into one form, saving a back-and-forth, and keeping the information in one place.
Link the likes to feasible ideas
Now with information collected, it’s time to pair the bride/groom’s ideas with reality. If they’re after specific activities, research around, write a list and compare which best suits the group’s needs. If they’re after weekend getaways, it comes down to finding accommodation, planning how to get to and from and an itinerary for the days away. The important thing is you are working to what they want.
What if it’s a surprise?
Some hens/buck’s events are meant to be surprises, having been planned in secret only revealed to the bride/groom when it’s unfolding. Don’t worry if this is your task. Take the same approach but instead get their friends or family to subtly find their wants or avoids, and this will form your base.
Taking a lending helping hand
There are countless businesses, vendors and venues which specialise in hens/bucks events and all are there to help make the planning process seamless. Within the next pages you will discover a true range of support available to help ease the planning burden.
The role of hens/bucks event planning inherently comes with stress, but it’s worthy stress to be felt as the bride/groom has taken time to consider who best knows them, who they best trust and most importantly who they want to be in charge of creating moments of shared bliss before a wedding day.